SA Change
Now

Faut que ça change, cette culture du viol à l’Université Sainte-Anne, maintenant.

Change the rape culture at our Nova Scotia university, Université Sainte-Anne, now.

(Warning: the following contains descriptions of coercive behaviour, intimidation, not accepting a refusal to consent to sex, rape, and sexual assault.)

My first year at Sainte-Anne, I had a tough time adapting as an immersion student, with so few of us and so many “regular students” on campus. That first semester, I didn’t often leave my room and wouldn’t eat in the cafeteria more than once a day if I was feeling good. Because of this isolation, I felt very alone and struggled with anxiety and depression.

Over the Christmas break, 2023-24, I decided to stay on campus for the holidays just to have my own space, away from family. This is when I met a Residence Advisor who came on so strongly that I was taken aback—he messaged me to be his copine, which I thought at the time could only mean “girlfriend” though now I know it can be used for “friend”. I was freaked out and decided to go home for New Year's, as I felt uneasy being on campus (RAs have access to all the residences). After a while, though, we started to go out casually and, looking for something more serious, I asked to meet his friends, since I was curious to learn more about him. So, one day, he took me to a BBQ at the Château, where people were eating and playing card games.

I was sitting off to the side when one of his friends, an RA for another residence, approached me. He spent a while talking to me, asking things like why I wasn't eating. We decided to exchange Snaps. We spent the next weeks chatting and, one night in February, he sent me a message telling me how he was into me; I tried to explain that I was going out with his friend. He soon messaged me back, saying that his friend didn’t care—the words that he used were “that he could have me”. I was very mad; I felt like an object. I called the guy I was going out with, very upset, and left many messages. In my anxiety—I couldn’t believe a person I liked would give me away—I had a panic attack and asked the other RA to come over to talk. I couldn’t understand what was going on.

When he came to my room on campus, we started talking about what had happened, we made more calls, with no response, and he continually reassured me that the guy I was going out with said it was okay, and he even showed me the messages. Once I had calmed down a bit, he asked if he could kiss me. I remember saying no, that I was going out with his friend. Despite my refusal, he still started to kiss me. We were on my bed—I was lying down and he was on top of me, off to the side. I remember staring at the ceiling, hoping for it to stop, but I couldn’t say anything—it was like being frozen. He continued down my neck, leaving a bite mark on my neck, and he was grinding on top of me and had his hand around my neck.

I was in shock. I remember focussing on the ceiling, just hoping for it to end, but it didn’t. He continued that night and that was how I lost my virginity. He only stopped and got off me when I got a call back from the guy I was going out with, and he came over. I remember being in pain after and bleeding.

I was in a horrible state—crying and gasping for air—and both men were there and I said nothing; I just lay on the bed and I cried. I asked for them to take my medication and knives, as I was feeling really depressed and uncertain of what I might do.

Once both men were gone, I had a shower and I just remember turning the hot water way up and scrubbing hard with soap. I honestly didn’t realize at the time what had truly happened to me; I thought I was a horrible person to be going out with one guy but then to have his friend come on to me. I fell asleep sobbing.

The next night, the guy I was seeing invited me out to an event. I remember wearing my hair so it could cover my neck and some very orange foundation to try and cover up the giant mark on my neck. I wanted to tell him what had happened, but I couldn’t do it where we were—I felt really uncomfortable in a room full of strangers. He walked me back to my res and, when he went to leave me at the doorstep, I asked him to come in, my eyes already starting to tear up. We went to my room and I stood back, pressed to the wall. I just remember the feeling of shame, standing there. I pulled my hair to the side and took a makeup wipe and scrubbed at my neck. I showed him the giant mark on my neck. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what had happened. I only told him that his friend did it to me, but didn’t explain further. I wasn’t ready to tell him of my refusal. After that night, we only saw each other a few more times. I spent three weeks covering my neck and making sure that my hair was down at least enough to conceal the mark—I didn’t want anyone to see.

Just before and just after this first incident, I was in and out of hospital three times with depression. I wanted the world to swallow me up and I considered suicide because of the suffering and tiredness I was constantly feeling. I had to sit and listen as someone told me how sex was a sin and I should pray to God for forgiveness—the same man who kissed me in my sleep. I wish I could say that was all, but, during this time, I was sexually harassed and assaulted by other men who approached me in the gym or cafeteria when I was alone, with some refusing to leave until I unblocked them on my phone. And I felt so emotionless because I knew that, if I said anything, it would just cause problems.

I managed to pick myself up and really focus on school and a theatre piece we were performing. But that RA was also in the piece. I decided the best thing would be to forget about it. We had to work together, after all, and there was no way to avoid him—he was always at the cafeteria or other places on campus. For the next few months, then, I stayed friendly with the guy who had raped me. I kept telling myself that it was my fault because I didn’t push him off but just lay there. (Since I had a lower level of French, I didn`t even know how to say get off me if I could have brought myself to speak.) I also knew that he was a popular RA and the chances that anyone would believe me were slim. There was no way to avoid him, so I kept telling myself that I just wouldn’t be alone with him again. It would be fine; it wouldn’t happen again.

In March and April, he would constantly try and get me to go to parties, the bar, or his place. I did go out a few times and, at the bar or parties, he would try to get me to drink even though I was underage and I would refuse. I was sexually assaulted by him on several occasions—usually him grabbing my butt—and it took me elbowing him several times for him to understand.

In September 2024, when we came back to school, I wanted to let go of everything from the year before and just start fresh. However, by mid-September—though I now had a boyfriend—he insisted on seeing me and, when I refused to come to his residence, he came to mine, saying he was coming to see a friend. He just opened my door; I never let him in. He crawled into my bed, and the same thing started to happen. Luckily, he was soon interrupted by a phone call and had to leave. I ran to my boyfriend's house to tell him what had happened and how he had done this before to me.

After I decided to file a complaint and the university brought in an external investigator, with every meeting I kept feeling that nothing would come of it and I often left feeling like it was my fault what happened to me. I had to miss classes to be in meetings with the investigators and then I would have to re-tell the reason why I was not in class to many professors to not have my grade for participation penalized.

Once, my rapist approached me at the Château and I left very quickly, before he could even speak—I was so mad that he would even come that close to me that I walked back to my res and it was pitch-dark. I remember running half the way since I was so worried he was behind me.

I was constantly told not to talk or say anything, but he had spread many rumours about me. At the Christmas party, I got many dirty looks from students; I had a panic attack. I decided to go home to my parents’ place and that was the first time my mom learned what had happened.

He still approached me on a few occasions, and we would see each other at the cafeteria; there was an official discussion of different times for going to the cafeteria but no schedule was ever put into place. I always felt like his eyes were on me any time we happened to be in the same room. I began to reduce how much I went out. I had to cut ties with mutual friends. I had people tell me it doesn’t matter or that they didn’t care what had happened to me.

We were approaching the end of the school year and I had yet to receive any information regarding the investigation. At the spring gala, I had to sit in a crowd as people applauded my rapist, who got an award in front of everyone. I had to sit, head down, while people applauded for him, cheering his name, even people I considered my friends. Then, once a student receives an award, a member of staff stands up and says how proud they are of their accomplishments.

Once exams were finally over, the university emailed their decision to kick him out of school, but I had been constantly silenced and told not to speak—that no one should know what is going on. I never even told the story to my close friends. And, since he has been kicked out, I got backlash from friends and classmates. I even had a member of staff say how they were avoiding me as well, upset that I had gotten him kicked out.

Le 1er septembre 2023 débutait la campagne étudiante de l’Université Sainte-Anne, SA Change Now / Faut que SA change maintenant. Jour après jour, des récits de harcèlement, d’agression et de viol, sous forme de vignettes, ont montré à quel point la culture du viol était répandue, pernicieuse et épouvantable dans la seule université de langue française de la Nouvelle-Écosse, et ce, depuis des années et des années. Dans les jours et les semaines qui ont suivi, d’autres survivants et victimes ont mêlé leur voix aux nôtres et ajouté leurs propres récits.

Il y a maintenant 40 vignettes et 24 histoires soumises, pour une université qui compte moins de 400 étudiants à temps plein. C’est un endroit où, en 2018-19, un violeur en série a commis au moins dix-sept agressions sexuelles et viols alors qu’il travaillait comme agent de sécurité étudiant ; la communauté universitaire n’a jamais été officiellement informée ou avertie, la personne responsable n’a jamais été punie, et le programme de la sécurité étudiante a été discrètement démantelé. (Étant donné que l’université a créé et pourvu ce poste sur le campus qui a facilité l’accès de ce prédateur en série à ses victimes potentielles tout en lui fournissant le prétexte de travailler pour leur sécurité, contribuant à les mettre encore plus en danger, et que certains membres du personnel et de l’administration étaient au courant de l’existence de ce prédateur en série, SA Change Now exhorte toutes les victimes de ce prédateur en série à intenter une action civile contre l’Université Sainte-Anne.)

En réponse à la campagne, à ses témoignages et à ses demandes de réforme, des personnes haut placées dans l’administration se sont livrées à des attaques, se contentant de nier les faits et de les manipuler.

Le recteur a passé au moins un dimanche sur le campus de Pointe-de-l’Église à retirer les tracts de la campagne ; la vice-rectrice à l’administration a appelé une membre de la campagne - victime de harcèlement, d’agression et de viol à l’université - et l’a accusée de harcèlement et de vandalisme, puis a passé des mois, jour après jour, à retirer les tracts de la campagne des babillards. L’administration refuse d’admettre l’existence d’une culture du viol (et encore moins de s’en excuser), bien que les preuves anecdotiques de cette culture soient toujours là, exposées, que la définition de cette culture figure dans leur politique révisée en matière de violence sexuelle et que le syndicat des professeurs ait officiellement reconnu la réalité évidente de cette culture lors d’un vote qui a eu lieu le 1er novembre 2023.

Quelques semaines plus tard, le recteur a finalement vu à quel point la situation semblait mauvaise, sans jamais admettre à quel point elle l’était en réalité ; il a annoncé qu’il démissionnait deux ans avant la fin de son mandat.

Cette réaction, de la part d’une haute administration composée de trois personnes qui n’a jamais reconnu ou pris au sérieux la culture du viol à l’université, mais qui l’a au contraire favorisée et a aggravé ses effets sur les étudiants - par le biais de politiques faibles, d’une mauvaise application ou d’une application erronée des politiques, et du manque répété d’attention et de préoccupation pour les victimes et les survivants traumatisés - était tristement prévisible.

Après tout, une réponse mature et honnête impliquerait de prendre ses responsabilités.

La plupart des cinq mesures élémentaires de bon sens - demandées par SA Change Now, décrites ici, et soutenues par une pétition signée par plus de 800 personnes, via ce site web - pour commencer à s’attaquer à la culture du viol dans une université plus petite que votre école secondaire n’ont pas été prises.

Mais certaines des vérités de la culture du viol à Sainte-Anne ont été révélées, sur le site web, Instagram et dans les médias, pour que tout le monde puisse en être conscient. Nombreux sont celles et ceux qui ont signé la pétition, soutenu la campagne silencieusement ou ouvertement, soumis des histoires et exprimé leur sympathie, leur indignation et exigé des réformes. Nous vous remercions. www.sachangenow.ca est un petit témoignage de la culture du viol à Sainte-Anne et de la force, du courage et de la détermination de chacune des nombreuses victimes et survivantes de harcèlement sexuel, d’agression sexuelle et/ou de viol à l’université, que votre histoire ait été racontée ici ou non. SA Change Now vous soutient, vous croit et se tient toujours à vos côtés. Comme le font tant d’autres.

On September 1, 2023, Université Sainte-Anne’s student campaign, SA Change Now / Faut que SA change maintenant, began. Day after day after day, vignette-length accounts of harassment, assault, and rape made it clear how pernicious, pervasive, and appalling the rape culture at the only French-language university in Nova Scotia has been, for years and years and years. Then, in the weeks that followed, more survivors and victims submitted their stories.

There are now 40 vignettes on this website and 24 submitted stories, concerning a university of fewer than 400 full-time students. It is a place where, in 2018-19, a serial perpetrator committed at least seventeen sexual assaults and rapes while working as a student security officer; the university community was never officially informed or warned, the perpetrator was never punished, and the student security program was quietly disbanded. (Given that the university created and provided the on-campus position which gave this serial perpetrator easier means and access to potential victims while seeming to be working for their safety and security, putting them only in greater danger, and that some staff and administrators knew about the serial perpetrator, SA Change Now urges any victims of this serial predator to pursue a civil suit against Université Sainte-Anne.)

In response to the campaign, its accounts, and its requests for reform, the senior administration tried attacks, denial, and spin.

The Rector spent at least one Sunday on the Church Point campus removing campaign flyers; the Vice-Rector (Administration) phoned a campaign member—a victim of harassment, assault, and rape at the university—and accused her of harassment and vandalism, then spent day after day, for months, removing campaign flyers from bulletin boards. The administration refuses to admit there is a rape culture (let alone apologize for it), although the anecdotal evidence for it will always be right here on display, the definition of it is in their revised sexual violence policy, and the faculty union officially recognized the obvious fact of it in a vote on November 1, 2023.

A few weeks later, the Rector finally saw how bad it looked, while never admitting how bad it actually was; he announced that he was quitting two years before his term was over.

This response, from a three-person senior administration that had never recognized or taken seriously the rape culture at the university, instead enabling it and worsening its effect on students—through weak policies, the poor application or misapplication of policies, and the repeated dereliction of care and concern for traumatized victims and survivors—was sadly predictable.

After all, a mature, honest response would mean taking responsibility.

Most of just five common-sense, basic steps—requested by SA Change Now, outlined here, and supported by a petition, signed by more than 800 people, via this website—to begin to address the rape culture at a university smaller than your high school have not been taken.

But some of the truths of Sainte-Anne’s rape culture are out, here, on our Instagram, in newspaper stories, and elsewhere, for all to read. So many have signed the petition, supported the campaign silently or openly, submitted stories, and otherwise voiced their sympathy, shock, and demand for reform. We thank you. This website stands as a small record of the rape culture at Sainte-Anne and as a testament to the strength, courage, and resolve of every one of the many victims and survivors of sexual harassment, sexual assault, and/or rape at the university, whether your stories have been told here or not. SA Change Now supports you, believes you, and stands with you, always. And so do so many others.